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Me, i am a ordinary girl. I'm always smiling, i wave at kids, i pet every cat or dog i see and i look like i'm always happy. My family and friends describe me as "a pretty girl" that enjoy life more than anyone. I think that maybe you are already bored about this "poor little teen girl with so many problems" but if you could take a few minutes to read my story i would be very glad :) It all started in the 10th grade. I couldn't sleep anymore. I would just sit in my bed thinking about my future and i started to feel hopeless about it as the days gone by. I could not tell my parents about it because i thought that i would disappoint them, they raised me to be strong and confident in my own powers. 10th grade ended and i started to feel better as i met a guy and i was head over heels in love with him.It was one of the best summers in my entire life i can't lie about it, but also he was the worst nightmare i have ever had(he was careless,snob and selfish)and after 8 months he broke up with me. At first i was alright, i mean, yeah..i cried like every teenage girl does after a break up but i was fine. The moment passed but in less than 2 months i started to notice a big change in myself, i didn't care about people anymore, i laughed but rarely and my smile has gone away too(i started smoking as well). Also my grades were dropping and my parents started to worry because they wanted a bright future for me at a prestigeous university. After a long fight with my parents about me being a shame to the family and a failure i went straight to my room to drown in my own tears. I cried every night for a month and one day i started to feel like i deserved a punishment, a greater one, I started to cut my wrists and that was the only thing that would stop me from crying my eyes out. Now you might say "she did it for attention",believe me or not i'm still wearing long-sleeve shirts in the summer to cover the scars because i am ashamed of what i did and i don't want anyone to question me for them. I went to a psychologist, he was nice, he asked me some questions and then he told my parents that i suffer from severe depression, anxiety, bipolarity and other things i can't even remember. I had a treatment with antidepressants and no one has ever talked about it since then.Now i'm in the 12th grade, i almost finished highschool and i will go to university in a year...and i am still crying myself to sleep everynight and i still feel like a shame and a failure,i can't let people see me this way because i know i have to be strong for them, but it gets dark when i'm alone. (Thank you)

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  • feeling the same way as you do, I know that it's difficult to control your mind. I'm.bipolar, it's fucking hard faking good behavior while you wanna just smash everything around you and cry like a bitch. I'm in my down-phase for way too long now, gave up my bf, some friends and hobbies. I barely eat anything. I'm crying a lot while being alone

  • Sending my heart out to you. My story is pretty much the same, add an ED to that... perfect happy girl gone wrong... All of this is 7 years in the past for me, so let me give you a little advice: look after yourself. it's that simple. if you still suffer, find things that make you happy and drive that heavy darkness away. and if you find that hard, have a chat to a psychologist you like. He/she can help you see your own strength and give tips on how to find your happiness again. seeking help is strength and taking control over your life. it's never a failure or a disappointment . it's a never ending process of treating yourself right. This will always be with you, so please learn how to cope with it in a healthy way, and remember that you are loved, and not alone, even in that gaping darkness.

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