I've barely gone to class all semester and now I'm going to fail my first college courses. I've known it was coming for weeks but could never find the effort to do something about it. I am a lump on a log who let themselves go. I fear I've gone past the point of no return - is it even worth it at this point? If my parents hadn't signed my fall housing lease already, I'd probably kill myself. Or at the very least wipe myself off the grid. I can't stand to acknowledge my existence anymore. Six weeks ago, I loved all the mirrors in my room. Now I hate seeing a glimpse of myself in passing. I just want everything to stop, just freeze. Give me some time to suffer in silence, hibernating in my misery. What's worse, my life is better than great. There's no reason for me to have these problems. That just makes it worse. I wish I could forgive myself and get on with my life.