I was always secretly bisexual in high school… but never thought it was fair to play both sides. When I was 17, I chose an older guy who completely played my life. He was abusive , constantly cheated, and put me down in the worst ways. Mentaply, financially and emotionally I was stuck depending on him. I couldnt do anything… like go to school, learn a trade start my own business… he would put me down. I now have three children after three failed engagements to him. I hate being a 'baby mama'. I love my children dearly, but I hate struggling. It is so hard. I can't stop thinking how amazing my life used to be and would be if I could go back in time and choose the other team.