I've killed two men and one child in the 'line of duty'.. I've realised sometging though. killing is portrayed as heinous and wrong in films etc because its so easy...my first kill didnt effect me. The second gave me nightmares and the shakes for a while. The third. I just felt numb. Totally emotionless. I still cannot show emotions other than laughter and joy these days however and now and again I think that those are just covering up something much more painful.