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I feel so pathetic and ashamed at myself that I'm so overly kind and lonely that the plethora of men or people in my life only talk to me for the sheer fact of attraction, I enable and lead on these people because the moment I just want to be friends I loss them and become lonely all over again. I just want to feel as beautiful as these people think I am while they're still infatuated with me, and if I could get that kind of human connection without the need for sexual affection it would make me so alive inside. I'm not perfect don't think by what I'm saying that I think that in the he slightest, I just want to know how to be people's friends without them asking me out on a date.

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