Well, all this happened after I entered in college. I met a girl in my first year, she was my friend's roomate. Initially we used to fight a lot, but eventually due to some incident we knew that we had something common. Never realised when all this turned into a great friendship, we became besties. By the end of the year I started having feelings for her, kind of started loving her. But I did not know what she had in her mind, so tried out various stuffs and hints through which I came to know she never would be able to love me, because of her past and that if I ever proposed her, it might end our friendship. I did not want that to happen. Eventually after a few months ended up going into a relation with a new friend who had crush on me. We had a relationship of about an year. We broke up when I realised she had been cheating behind my back for quite some time. Ran into lot of cigarettes, alcohol and into marijauna. A childhood friend then came into picture and she eventually fell for me. But this time I did not had the guts to go into a relationship infact I never would. Trust Issues. With her help I have given up marijuana, and controlled my alcohol and cigarettes to a level. On other hand, I came to know that my bestie is now in a relationship with one of my close friends. I took it hard at first. But now I have accepted that. The problem is that my childhood friend is still waiting for my approval were as I am acting like a jerk who doesn't want a relationship. Infact had sex with a friend, no strings attached. Kinda started believing in that. But just feel something is wrong.