My friends think that I am lucky with the life I live because I don't have much going on in my life. They don't know that I was bullied for 9 years and my mother couldn't do a thing against it because there wasn't another school who wanted me. I got bullied by the whole school and once there was someone who wanted to teach me a lesson because I told teachers what they did to me and that person tried to strangle me. I would have been dead if there wasn't someone near to safe me. That person was never kicked out of school and I saw that person everyday and got flashbacks to that moment and even nightmares. My mother was forced to make me drop out of school for my own safety and that's the reason I never had a chance to graduate. 4 times I have been depressed and I once have been psychotic. When I was 16 my doctor diagnosed me with PTSD and sended me to a therapist, she didn't wanted to give the right treatment because she didn't believe it and spend 2 years to try to diagnose me with something else. She lied to my new therapist and I had to convince them all for almost 2 years that I was diagnosed with PTSD and needed help for that. They finally believe that now and I have to wait for 6 months before I can get treated. My ex was abusive and I got pregnant from him because he used a broken condom. He left me after I gave birth. My PTSD is so bad atm that I'm scared to walk alone outside, I'm scared for being alone in the dark and I can't fall asleep at night without medications because I'm to scared that I will get attacked in my own house. I can't enjoy my relationships with anyone because I can't trust people. I still have flashbacks but now it's so bad that I hardly can breathe. And my parents are the only one who know this because I'm scared to tell anyone else.