i had an eating disorder and depression at one point. During recovery I gained weight and for the first time I was proud of my body. Now I am living on my own again and trying to stay positive but I feel like if I'm not losing weight, I'm gaining and this makes me really nervous. There is no middle ground, no way to NOT think about food and weight. I exercise and eat right but instead of giving me strength in my appearance, it always comes down to how thin I look, not about the health. Did I burn enough? Did I eat too much? It's impossible for me to not think about my weight. It crosses my mind at least once an hour of the day.