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The only person i have ever truly loved happened to be my best and childhood friends girlfriednd. I confessed and cut ties with both of them 2years ago. Now after almost a year of no contact she called, we met, i told i feel the same about her so i cant be her friend. She said she was thinking of me and she missed me but shes in a relationship with someone else now so dating "right now" is not gonna happen and she asked what we should do in the meanwhile. I told her that we shouldnt talk and i hope shes well. Its been 2 weeks and this "right now" is in my head torturing me. Why did she have to say it like that, why does it make it sound like i have a chance, why cant i just forget her and move on. Im 25y old i have had my fair share of relationships but when it comes to her i just lose it. I havent stopped thinking about her since the day i met her even when i was with other women. Ive been in love with her for a total of 3years now and when we talk its like a day never passed. This connection is all i can think about and its making me crazy. Everyone says i should feel lucky i fell so much in love, but all i can feel is pain. Love hurts so bad. letting go hurt so damn bad. Im starting to lose sleep over it

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