I do so many things in my life and almost all of it lead to hurting people. I won't say that I intended to hurt them but my past habit is somehow related to bad decisions. I don't have any good memories of my own self decision but I do remember someone else made my decision for me. being control like a toy and can't disobey order are what killed me as a kid. The true poison a child could drink without any cure. A pain I can't forget. Now I'm a monster. Now I'm controlling myself to make others follow my order. And I can't break it free.