When my father was in the hospital he held my hand for the first time. I pulled my hand back because after 15 years of dissociating himself from my life I felt he didn't have the right to suddenly be all affectionate. A few weeks later fell in a coma. My mom and brother talked to him with every visit but I didn't have anything to say to him. He died a short period later. I wish I had told him how I felt about our relationship and solved things when we still could.