All my life I have been in a Dilemma: Be with people or on my own. I long for contact, compassion, connection. But at the same time I have a crippling fear or resentment...resentment of who I really am. When people meet me they see a persona I created for first impressions and I usually end up using it all the time around these people. I do so because I think the real me will be perceived as unpleasant or even repulsive. In recent months I have grown tired of acting....now I stay secluded, making excuses to avoid showing myself.