I get sad sometimes and I don't know why but hold it in til I break down eventually and try to end my life. At the same time sometimes I just feel too lazy to deal with life and I'd rather be dead.
If you're not already, seek help. The laziness associated with Depression has a name- it's known as psychomotor retardation, which means your reflexes are slowed and it actually does take more energy to do things when you feel bad. I've had Depression for a very long time, and it's a struggle to do anything, but things can get better if you fight.
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