People think I'm completely sane, that I'm proud of what I've accomplished and of what I am, and they think that I grew up in the perfect family. Truth is, I really hate myself. Yes, I have good grades and all, but I don't know what's I'm going to achieve, I have no clue about my eventual life, and I don't know if it's going to work. I grew up in a f*cked up family. Back when I was 2, my parents went their own way. This left my brother and I with a really conservative father, which I thought, and still think, that he think I'm not good enough, and with a mother that's really nice, but who's relationships have all been to shit. When I was 7, I went to a camp with the scouts. Back then, everything was as normal as it should've been, but when I came back, it was to realise my grandfather had left his life behind, and started a new one with another lady. This is probably what hurt the most. Everything went downhill from this point. Less than a year later, my mother noticed my stepfather was cheating on her, so she dumped him. My father had a few relationships but none of them really worked, except a single one. It's been going on for like 8 years, but I really hate her. I really do. She's only controlling my father. Recently, and by that I mean a few months ago, my mother broke up with my ex new stepfather, but that's great, cause I didn't like him...My father doesn't keep his promises, he owes both my brother and I a lot of money. Because of all that, I have some serious confidence issues, as well as trust issues. When people ask me if I like a girl, I don't know how to respond, for I don't know what I should feel. I'm fat, I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm 17. My life is supposed to be awesome, stuff is supposed to happen, yet nothing does, and I'm scared. My mind is fucked up, and I need help.