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I paid my kids to spend time with their uncle because I haven't had sex with my wife since 2009. We splashed most the water out of the jacuzzi and then got the couch soaking wet. Kids came home and I lied and told them the dog jumped in the jacuzzi then jumped on the couch... it's better then telling them the truth right?

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  • Geez 2009? I lost my virginity back then...

  • You should only ever lie to them if it was basically life or death.

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