2 years ago, my dad had a heart attack due to a birth defect in his heart that they never saw (he was born in 1946 so the hospitals weren't as well equiped as they are now). I resuscitated him and when he recovered, I thought we were going to spend more time together. When he was offered an early retirement his exact words were; "no, I don't want it. what the hell am I supposed to do at home?" I took it personally and I still do, it makes me feel like not even my own father wants to be around me and it causes me to be highly insecure of my personality.