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You wanna know how everything can go to ruins so quickly, lend me your eyes for my story, We have been friends for 3 years now, the 7 of us, namely Erika, Kyle, Jason, Humera, Van, Micah, and me, Kym( whether or not these names are real is up to you), i would remember the times when we would insult and tease each other and laughing out loud like theres no tomorrow, like weve made our own little world filled with colors that each one of us has given to each other, i thought that nothing could possibly ruin this amazing friendship we had, i thought that everything was gonna be okay for two years, that we'll never ever change, no matter how much we would hate each other because of a stupid or serious fight we'd go back to the same childish yet fun routine the next day, but thats not how it works, does it? I blame myself for breaking the friendship everyone loved so much and treasured, im sure its my fault, i'm sure everyone of them hates me, why? im not sure these are my insecurities because i crossed that line of friendship and love, im sure thats what broke everyone, it was my fault. I dated Kyle for bitch ass purposes, mainly self satisfying revenge, it was the worst possible decision i could ve made as a 2nd year highschooler, revenge for Erika as i thought in my mind, because they used to go out in the previous year because Kyle was and still is to this very day a lustful player and broke up with her fearing he might impregnate her(fucking bastard, hough i am one myself), so i dated him, broke up 4 months later cause he was too clingy, though truth be told i almost liked him, due o the breakup, he has been depressed. Now, third year of highschool, the group was cut half in two seperate classes, meaning I, Jason, Humera and Van were together while the rest were in another class, days went by we always went to their classroom and entertained them, we would always make the topics, we would always, always be the one to go to them, all the time but then during when the 2nd peiodical tests were finally over, that one afternoon they called us, Micah was sitting on the table with us, while Erika was on the side, and kyle at the far back, the she muttered these words out "Im leaving the group", i was sad and i wanted to say something as if i didnt expect it but thats not who i was, i expected all the worst thigs to happen in the future so naturally i wasnt surprised, but wanna know the worst thing about me? i jus stood there and said " is that it? youre leaving? well okay" while Van just had to say"awwwww shes crying", note: me, humera, jason, and van were the optimistic, logical, gnre savy and sarcastic type, so we didnt realize how mean it sounded later while, after what micah said we all decided to go home. I arrived home, went straight to my room, knees shaking, and just cried, i cried all my tears out realizing that three important people who ive made a deep bond with are now unreachable and i couldnt grasp it anymore, knowing im the cry now and acceot it right away girl, i did exactly just that so did Humera, Van and Jason. the next week, I looked at Erika because i saw her outside, she gave this menacing glare like i just killed her cat, but I ignored it because this is what they wanted, to become acquiantances or even strangers, but the fact that they were the ones who said they didnt want anything to do to us pissed me off when they kept giving letters for three days straight that theyre "permanently leaving", "i dont want to see or talk to you" and more letters about the im leaving crap, to me, Jason,Humera and Van, it sounded like a cry of attention, so we settled on a date for friday at the beach to talk things out, and those fuckers(excuse me) had the nerve to say " Fine! but leave us the fuck alone after!", hey were the ones who kept bothering us after they ended it. Wanna know what was in those letters before we get to the climax? it was all stuff about how we( me,humera,van and jason) ignored them, meaning why we dont go to heir classroom anymore, we had pretty good reasons why, it was because our schedule was full the whole month due to school, and the fact that they didnt even give effort to go to us, they were just waiting there, what kind of friendship were they having in mind? also how they were mad because Van hacked into kyles account and rwad his messages( a pretty good reason why Kyle is mad) but i didnt like it when he got mad at Van for hacking my account as well, he cant get mad about that for me, cause unlike him, i trust Van very much, if he knows my secrets he'll keep it, another thing Kyle messaged Van tha they Were cool already since Van apologized but then in the letters he said "Fuck you! you asshole" , he trusted you! how could you do that?!. Friday came and i was a bit late because my teacher had to talk to me, when i arrived everyone was crying, and Van said " you're lucky Jason covered up for you", since i was late they were talking and Jason defended me, but those words that came from Van hurt me the most, doesnt that mean no one else would helped me? no one would have defended me? no one wouldve cared?! I guess mybe they all do hate me, while i was thinking about all that, once again Van said" go on Kym, apologize, youre he one who started all this", how did I start all this? its not like i wanted this to happen, its only because everyones changed, i thought we agreed that this was no ones fault!?, accidentally i muttered out the words " so this is my fault now?", humera replied with " its not your fault kym, its no ones", I-I truly am the worst but i dont tell them that cause theyll be sad if i do, so i woman upped and apologized but just then Erika Fainted and collapsed, we called and ambulance and sent her to the hospital, while she was gone, we spent 2 hours talking with Kyle and micah since they were the only ones left, we apologized, I apologized, everything ive done or did to them, and i thanked them, they were the only people throughout my life who stuck up with my selfishness, but everyone remained as acquiantances or friends, but the group remained permanently gone, that was the end of our relationship, that was also the last time we all shared our emotions, tears, pain, fears and laughters. Though even after all that, I still have to say to myself 'i'm the worst' even to Humera, Van or Jason, i can tell im not the best at all, but it wouldnt help to be sad wouldnt it? If I could go back I'd stop myself from meeting them, im sure they wouldve been happier, i'd gladly erase my exisence for their happiness, they might say that its not true, that they would be sad if i was gone, but thats only because theyve met me already, isnt that why? am I the whole cause of this? i'd like to believe that its not the truth but again thats not who I am, still time wont stop for me nor will it go back, ill just have to keep moving on, with a stronghead smile on my face....... thank you for reading I think ill write more about my memories soon... just that this memory ill never ever forget and one that i have accepted and shall learn from....

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  • too long didn't read , anyone care to offer a recap ?

  • Jesus christ!!!

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