I know I am underweight but I still feel disgusting and devastated when I gain weight
Am that way it's like I've been skinny all my life so if I gain weight (even if it's muscle) I just feel fat but I know am still skinny.
You might have BDD or a related problem. It's worth looking into so you can get help. There's a supportive, if small, recovery community on Tumblr if you use that site. You are not disgusting and any weight you gain is an achievement and you should be proud of yourself for looking after your body.
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