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When the love of my life died with our unborn child I took up drinking and became the worst imaginable type of person. There is no counting the people I've hurt and wronged. I will never make up for it. I've spent literally half of my life trying to fix my mistakes and be the best person I can but I'll never get past this. What few friends I have I'm distancing myself from so that when I dissappear no one will miss me. If I had dealt with it when it happened instead of burying my head beneath the sand and cheap whiskey and vodka then maybe I would've moved on and not have so much guilt but I chose to hide. I've got little or nothing left keeping me going. I wake up in the night from nightmares in a hungover craze every night and morning. I just want it to stop.

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  • Just find something worth fighting for and fight your way out..the alcohol is your problem.. its hard as fuck to give up but its worth itthe nightmares the waking up every few hours will go away

  • To the person below my comment (I can't hit the reply button): I think you don't know what a real problems are and what real depression is. Purring cat?? Really? And to the person who wrote the post: When you'll be ready go seek help. If you don't do it you will probably kill yourself. This is really massive lost and I can't understand what are you going through. I really hope you have a loving family. Go live with them. Don't be alone. Even if you don't want to talk just be with people around you. Please don't kill yourself.

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