I'm depressed. And I don't know why. I think it has to do with my grandfather passing last March. I never got to say good bye, or mourn his death because I was on a school-trip in Australia (I live in Scandinavia). At this point, I can't bring myself around to talk about it to my parents. Or maybe my depression has to do with either me being alone, or my extreme obsession with my father's attention). I suffer from Cerebral Palsy, and I am afraid I never will have the experience of having a family, or even a girlfriend who loves me. Yes, I have thought about killing myself, many times. Only reason I haven't though, is because of my family, whom I love very much. I am weak, yet strong at the same time. And I have no idea what to do with my problems, or my life.