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The last year and a half have gone downhill. From a happy student with a beautiful girlfriend and lots of friends to an overworked, lonley, drop out who's scared that I might kill myself one of these days. Girlfriend left me for the army, friends left me because I was sad that my girlfriend left me, I lost two of my jobs because of the depression, I was put on anti-depressants instead of being sent to a psychologist, and now I can't afford to go to the doctor or get the help I need Because I lost two of my part time jobs and dropped out of school due to psychological reasons.

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  • I'm afraid I can't help you much, but I still wanted you to know that I sincerely hope you get better. I was in a similar situation once. I have a long time chronic pain disorder that was diagnosed at a very late point, so it won't ever actually go away any more, but at some point, before it was even diagnosed, it got so bad that I dropped out of school, cut off all my ties with my friends and curled up in a dark, silent room for weeks on end because I could not even stand artificial light. Our health system is different, so I actually had the opportunity to go to a specialised clinic and get psychological health, as I was already highly suicidal by that point. Now I worked hard to at least lessen the pain (really hard - it was quite difficult to achieve, and I still have to put up lots of effort to not let it get worse again). By work I mean actual, physical work out, changing my whole lifestyle, my diet, everything. Although I wasn't living in an unhealthy way before, now I feel like one of those health crazed nutcases. But after a year of staying home and working on myself, I was able to go to school again. I finished, got into university, got a Bachelor, then a Master, and last, but not least, my PhD done, have married my long-term girlfriend who helped me through this all as a friend, even though I pushed her away in my worst phases. The reason I'm telling you this is to let you know something I can tell out of experience (my own and the experience of others, who suffered through similar scenarios). It is hard now, and if you start working on your problems, it will get even harder. It will push you to your breaking point. You will weep and cry and loathe the world. But if you keep on going, if you are simply to stubborn to give up, even though you're going through hell - then it will get better. I promise it will. If you feel the anti-depressants don't help, then stop taking them. There are other things that help. Sports do. They trigger your body to produce endorphines, which makes you feel happy. Try working out every day. Go out into nature. Expose yourself to as much sunlight as you can. Maintain a healthy sleep pattern. Get up at the same time every day, and try to go to sleep at the same time every night. Eat lots of fruit, and, believe it or not, chocolate helps too. (But try to stay with fruit, citrus and bananas are especially good, since fat produces hormones that trigger or deepen depression.) It sounds weird, but it actually does help. I actually work with depressed people on a regular basis as I volunteer for some programs, and by following this advise, and following it strictly, most of them (including myself) got out of depression. (It helped with my pain, too - a lot.) I hope you get better, and I hope my advice was useful, although when you start following it, you will hate me. The start is awful, and at first you will feel even worse, but it helps a lot in the long run. Please give it a shot, after 2 months you'll really notice a difference. Good luck, and stay strong.

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