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My ex fiance got a vasectomy done when he was 20 and I really thought I wanted to marry him. I knew why he did and I supported his reasoning. He had a strong mental illness history he didn't want to genetically pass to any kids. But it still hurt to know I wouldn't have a pregnancy like everyone else. I'd have to get a sperm donor or adopt to have kids. No one would be able to look at our kids and say "She has his nose". A year or so later, I realized he wouldn't want to be a father at all. He didn't show any interest in bonding with my nephew or baby cousin. He flat out said he wouldn't change diapers. I couldn't imagine him doing a middle of the night feeding or diaper change. I couldn't see him doing anything involved in child rearing besides handing the baby to me and asking how much diapers cost. So I broke it off with him. When he told me he was getting a vasectomy, I looked up reasons why being "child free" would be a good thing. It only made me angry and sick to my stomach. Ever since my nephew's first week of life, I've known I want kids one day. I can't imagine being happy without ever having one. I know it won't be easy. Getting a baby who hates naps to take one when he needs it is not fun. A poopy diaper that somehow made him get poop behind his ear is not fun. Formula, diapers, clothes, and everything else a baby needs isn't cheap. Eventually, I'll have to discipline my child. I'm not looking forward to spankings, groundings, yelling, and he/she saying "I hate you!". But I still want children more than anything. One day. Not anytime soon because I can't support one yet. But when I can, absolutely. No desire to have kids is a deal breaker for me.

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  • I think I might do a confession on my own here: I can't stand children.

  • I may not share your priorities, but you are entitled to your choices and good on you being honest about them.

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