I'm transexual, and I delayed my HRT since two years for my family. They know it, but they act like if I had never talked about it. They consider me as selfish. It has always been like that, I have always been consider as the selfish little shit of the family. And why ? Because I tried so much to be the girl they want me to be that I failed myself, lost my self esteem and my trust. I've tried to kill myself sometimes, but I've always stopped me because I don't want to hurt them. I was deep in depression since my 9, when I've understood that I'll never be who I feel. I've fight alone against that without complaining, in silence, and I won. I accept myself, I find the courage to asume my identity and I love the guy I became. I don't even hate my body now, because I know I can change it. But the irony is that I've suffered for nothing, they couldn't care less about how I feel. They won't help me, they won't try to understand me, they don't want to. And after all of this, I'm the one who's selfish. I'm sorry I haven't kill myself, it seem like it would be better for you than helping me. I'm sorry, all I wish is that they can see me as I am today : happy, proud of myself, always here for helping others. I'm not foolproof but I'm strong and I know it. I'm not a selfish little bastard, I've thinking about them all my life and made a lot of sacrifices they don't have clue about. I'm only 19, but I know who I am since I can think, and I deserve to be happy like everyone. My mistake was to hide it for so long maybe. Do they prefer having a dead daughter/sister than a living and happy son/brother ? I know nobody care, I just have to take it of my chest.