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I have been depressed ever since when I was 13 when my first boyfriend asked to have sex and I didn't know how to refuse without coming off like I don't love him. I hated every minute I spent with him after since I dread every time I have to see him because there I always have to suck his dick as I don't want to have sex. Now I'm 21 years old and have constant nightmares about the time I spent with him. I fear I will never be normal.

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