I'm only "confessing" because i feel i needed some closure. Or at least another opinion on the subject. I can't tell anyone in real life because they either disregard what i'm saying or call me crazy or psychotic. So basically...i feel nothing. No emotions are present except for sometimes anger and anxiety. Simply caring for anyone or anything has faded and i have no idea why. I used to have tons of emotions, but it seems over time they just disappeared. I don't believe in anything, and in my mind, everything is random and there is no true meaning to whatever happens. I call people or living things "meat bags" or "machines". Just a bunch of parts thrown together to make work. Throughout my life i have stayed calm in any situation and even if it was the pain of a close family member, or even death, i would try so hard just to fake it and appear normal in front of others when really i could give two fucks. Nothing bothers me anymore and even if there is someone in need i will never help them unless it benefits me. I sometimes go on those websites where you can find real life videos and pictures of people dying and gory scenarios. They just give me a rush of adrenaline and it feels great. Also have a tendency to unwillingly hurt others by either direct on physical contact or blackmailing them in numerous ways. Sorry for the long post. I just felt i needed to say this.