Some years ago, I was going through a rough patch, and I used to escape my problems through sex. I met a guy, the life-fucked-me-up bad boy kind. All i wanted was more or less a one night stand, but he was sweet and kind to me and pursued me, so i thought i could give it a try. After a couple of weeks together, he confessed to me that while he was clean for the last 5 years, recently he had started using again. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to deal with a situation like that, but I thought that if I turned my back to him right then, it'd me a bad person. So i stayed. And tried to help. Only he didn't want help. And he wouldn't let me go. And when I realized it, it was too late. He abused me emotionally, and always using guilt to keep me with him. When I tried to break up, he would become violent. After almost 1,5 year now, while i have fallen in love with someone else, I still think about him, and I shiver in the idea of facing him again. I don't know if I hate it him or if I'm just scared of him.