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I'm really surprised at how easy happy it was for me just stop caring about him after 4 years together. stopped makes me wonder if I really loved him or not. I don't think I did. I think I liked him a lot when we first got together, but I was really just desperate for romance. Then somehow it just turned into me staying so I wouldn't be alone. I didn't think anyone else could want me. I'm not social, or good at flirting, so I don't know how I'll find someone else. But towards the very end, I just stopped caring. I stopped caring if I go the rest of my life alone. I'd rather be alone than tied down with him. I stopped caring if he would be hurt by me breaking up with him. I didn't want to hurt him, but what about me and what I want? I wasn't happy. I couldn't promise my life to him if I was already unhappy. Now that it's over, I'm so happy. I can't remember the last time I was this happy and at ease with myself. I'm more confident than I've ever been. I know I'm beautiful. I know I'll be fine on my own. And he needs to learn to get over it and stand on his own without me. If I ever go back to him, I give someone in my family the right to call me an idiot and remind me why I left, and how incredible I started feeling after.

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