Take it off your chest...
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This is going to be a long story, but I really want to hear some opinions on it. My aunt has cancer, and we've known for a pretty long time that it's untreatable. She could basically die any day now. Well, about three years ago, when my aunt was already declared untreatable for two years, she found out her husband cheated on her with his secretary. Cliché, I know. Well, they argued before because he was an asshole to my aunt (screaming at her for being lazy when she felt so bad she couldn't even leave the bed, insulting her in all kinds of ways and basically blaming her for everything. If world war three had started, for him, it would have been her fault.). They decided to get a divorce. My cousins were 21 and 18 at that time, and yet they stuck to their father and refused to talk to my aunt, insulting her when she called. My aunt was very upset, and they even insulted the rest of the family, saying they never wanted to see us again because we were ... I don't know if there's a translation for the words they used to describe us, let's just say it was extremely mean and offensive. My grandparents cared for them their whole childhood, and they refused to see them, even though they are pretty ill, too. It got better about a year ago, finally, but now my cousin is pregnant. I've tried to approach her a few times before, and now even more, because we were really close as kids. She married without inviting any of us, she doesn't talk to any of us, and even though I made a huge effort to sew an knit her baby clothes and even sent them to her by post with a letter, congratulating her, she didn't even say anything. Not even to her mother. It's af if I don't even exist. I mean, I've never done anything to her. I have never opposed her, never insulted her, never took any side in the argument, although I guess I should have taken my aunts side, since I get ignored anyway. I just think it's sad that I miss out on this. We were always so close, even though I'm a little younger than her. She always said that I'd be the godmother (is that the right word?) of her first child. I understand if she doesn't want that, I mean, we haven't talked for years, but I want to at least meet her baby. I want to talk to her again, and I want to see a picture of her in her wedding dress. She didn't give any to my aunt, because she doesn't want the rest of the family to be able to participate in this in the least. I don't know what I did wrong. The reason I'm writing this is: Today I saw her in the grocery store. And I know she saw me too. I waved and greeted her, went over to her - and she met my eyes, turned around and left. She just left, without a word. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm sorry for the long post. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I don't want it to stay like it is. We're family. I love her. And I don't want her to have to be without the support of all of us. I mean, our family is huge, we've got so many aunts and uncles. I'd love to be there for her. I really do. But she won't let any of us come close. She hasn't even come to see our grandparents. Should I just give up on her?

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  • just give up on her already. She's so mean, u and ur aunt don't deserve to be treated like that.

  • Hm that seems so cold to me. I epxerienced the same thing, my cousin has cut off all the contact with us. Not much we can do about it. Just keep them in our prayers and hope someday they will see we only want the best for them. I miss my cousin so much and hope everything will work out. You shouldnt give up on her but accept the fact she doesnt need you in her life.

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