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Alright so this is a bit messed up, but thats what this is for, right? I want to confess, i like being sick. Not like severely ill but just having the flu or a bad cold, it's exciting to me, especially when Im in public or with friends, and i dont actually know why. I just know that whenever i feel a little scratch in my throat or something like that i can't help but desperately hope for it to get way, way worse, and when a cold fades away I feel disappointed somehow. I've even sometimes caught myself doing stupid/unhealthy stuff like dressing to lightly in winter or not sleeping enough on purpose just so i could make a sickness worse or make it last longer. Is something wrong with me? Can i somehow stop those thoughts?

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  • Something is wrong, by seeking help you can put away those thoughts. Maybe you're deeply hurting or you're guilty of something so that's you're way of telling you that it's okay...

  • Attention seeking, no, thats not what it feels like, it's more like when I'm sick I feel the days are very special, like on a high holiday or something. As if it was a highlight of my month or whatever. Aw man I dont know

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