Alright so this is a bit messed up, but thats what this is for, right? I want to confess, i like being sick. Not like severely ill but just having the flu or a bad cold, it's exciting to me, especially when Im in public or with friends, and i dont actually know why. I just know that whenever i feel a little scratch in my throat or something like that i can't help but desperately hope for it to get way, way worse, and when a cold fades away I feel disappointed somehow. I've even sometimes caught myself doing stupid/unhealthy stuff like dressing to lightly in winter or not sleeping enough on purpose just so i could make a sickness worse or make it last longer. Is something wrong with me? Can i somehow stop those thoughts?