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I made a mistake. I hooked up with my ex. We made out, masturbated together, and he fingered me. I don't want to do that again. He just kept trying to kiss me and I got tired of fighting. It felt nice. But it was wrong. I don't want to get back together, and he knows that. Physically, it's not great. And emotionally, it's been downright terrible sometimes. The entire time, I was thinking of the guy I really like. He's the one I want. It felt like I was cheating on him somehow. I'm not dating either, and the guy I like doesn't know I'm interested, but it still felt like cheating. I wasn't fantasizing about being with him, but I just thought of him and felt dirty. I don't even know if I want to be friends with my ex. But he said he loves me and missed me. I feel wrong. I'm not telling anyone about this. I know this is also messed up, but I want to tell my ex about the guy I like. I don't have any other friends I can talk about him with. I want to talk about it with someone, and my ex boyfriend isn't the best person to come to for that, but it's driving me nuts.

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  • anonymous replier below - you are smart and well spoken. Very wise !

  • Do not go to your ex who clearly still has feelings for you, to complain about a guy you want. He knows you guys are not getting back together (or at least, you told him that, he might refuse to believe it, but that is on him), so fucking him is fine as long as you are not seeing someone else. But really, would you like that crush of yours to call you to confess about some other girl he likes? Do NOT do this to your ex.

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