I feel i have to force myself to stay away from the people I know because for some reason I feel I need to suffer
If you feel that the lack of suffering mean you're on the wrong path... let me remind you.
The Dark Side isn't stronger, it's easier... more seductive. The path to the Light Side is full of effort and struggle... and out of struggle you may build strength.
But! Never forget that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. And suffering leads to the Dark Side!
You need to know your suffering, so you can defeat it. It's like war: war may lead to death and destruction, but war may forge the greatest of strengths, that none other may.
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