I'm a woman and I was sexually assaulted and raped 12 years ago by my "best friend." I never told anyone, never pressed charges against him, and never sought counseling. I sort of just glazed over the issue and acted as if nothing ever happened; I even refused to acknowledge that it happened for a time. Several years ago I did tell my mother and my best friend but no one else. I've recently only told my fiance after he unknowingly and accidently triggered a PTSD flashback. I've unpacked all of my emotional "baggage" from past heartaches and life events... except for the rape. In order to heal and move on with my life I know I need to revisit my past and I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what I might find, what demons I may have to face, what I've locked away, and afraid that the scars might reopen. I'm afraid that reconnecting with my "old self" is going to change who I've become; and I like who I've become.