A while ago i met a girl who is both beautiful and intelligent and we pretty much clicked instantly.I've never had much luck with girls due to low self-esteem and confidence but for a couple of weeks I was the happiest I'd been in years if not my entire life. Unfortunately for me she chose to move away for a while and suddenly dropped all contact without warning. When it happened I pretended that I didn't care in front of my friends and family but in truth its killed me inside. I had trouble focusing and ended up failing some of my schooling. I have never met anyone like her and its constantly on my mind that I just let my one chance at happiness slip away. She gave me a huge confidence boost and helped me become more open with others but when she left I feel like I went back to where I started. The thought of this makes me anxious and i sometimes have trouble sleeping because I find that I will lay in bed and try desperately to recreate that happy feeling by thinking back on all the good times we spent together, but this just makes it worse. The strangest thing is that I know she is coming back but I'm worried that she will have changed and won't want anything to do with me. I know this behaviour is unhealthy and borderline obsessive but I just can't stop myself. I feel really uncomfortable talking about it even to my family or close friends as I'm afraid that they will judge me harshly and I know that they will think that I'm overreacting. I want to try and shake this but as soon as I think I'm better something like seeing her picture will trigger me off again. The weird thing is that I know I'm a good looking guy ( I'm not just saying it, I have been told by numerous random people) and that if I tried I could probably get with a girl that's just as good if not better but I remind myself of how hurt I got last time and I never do anything. Every day I put on a happy face but deep inside I just feel so empty and drained.