When I was 17 years old, I weighed 275 lbs. I was so depressed that I became suicidal and was in a mental facility for a week. When I refused to return to my local high school (where I was picked on relentlessly), my parents sent me across the country to a weight loss boarding school, I ended up losing 120 lbs and was at a healthy weight (160 lbs since I'm so tall). I got my first boyfriend, and then he dumped me because we lived on opposite sides of the country. (I don't blame him for that now that I'm older and wiser.) Here's the confession: Because of this, I became depressed again and thought that even though I was told I looked so beautiful since I lost all the weight, that I must be a horrible ugly person on the inside for someone to dump me like that. I ended up meeting, dating, and moving in with for lack of stronger terms, a MADMAN. He made me give him fellatio until I threw up on his chest, and he told me to keep going. If I didn't go to the bathroom quick enough, and he had to go too, he would defecate into his own hands and play with his own feces. If I didn't do everything he said, he threatened to keep all my belongings and throw me out with no way to contact my family (I was so depressed and scared I didn't even think about asking my neighbors for help and thought I would end up homeless.) When I tried to leave, he tried to kill himself with a knife and I tried to take it from him. I took the knife and ran into our bathroom and screamed and cried because he was trying to break down the door to get to me. He decided to join the Navy and when he did, it took me two weeks after he left for basic to realize that I could leave without him being able to follow me. He's tried to contact me over the years, but I block him and do not respond to his contact attempts. To this day, my family thinks I just ran away and do not know the psychological and sexual abuse I suffered at his hands. After almost 10 years, I am finally seeking therapy.