I hate not knowing the mysteries of life. what happens when we die? how did we get here? is there aliens out there? is the illuminati real? why does my brain work this way why do I care.
You need to find it out by yourself. Everyone believes other things. As an example: I know that aliens exist and that the as you call it "illuminati" is real. But what i think is real is maybe not true for another person.
Don't worry about it too much, focus on improving your life first before you can have time to relax and ponder on such :)
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