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I'm lost between my personalities, i want to someday build a family, i don't want to be alone, but everywhere i look i just see stupid people, i feel like i grew up too early and now i'm left out, my grades are getting worse, i might even lose this school year, all because i can't cooperate in groups, if i'm put in charge, people complain about perfectionism, if i'm not in charge they complain i do nothing, my individual work however is really good. I've start regretting knowing things, growing up and realizing things, i don't want to get old anymore, still, i'm very proud of the things i learned, i don't want to hurt people, or make enemies with anyone, but they all seem to be at their most ignorant stage of their lives, i feel like a time bomb just ticking, day by day they stress me more, i hope if i end up flipping out, it would be at the least damaging place, there are some good seeds between the bad ones, and i don't want to hurt or lose them, growing up is a big fear of mine, but bigger is my fear of letting hate take control, fuck, if i did something stupid i wouldn't forgive myself, life is getting complicated by the day and fucking everything up seems so easy it inhibits me of trying things, not that my self esteem is low, it is surely bigger than it ever was, but the bigger the steps the heavier my foot seems to get, this is a huge chokepoint in my little life, and i would welcome any advice, not in a career or formation, but you know, life experience, did anyone else went through something relatable?

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