In a few months my sister is getting married and I'm sure my other sisters will get married soon after. For me, recently it's the most amazing feeling finding out that they were getting married! As a brother I guarantee I will probably cry when I see them walking down the aisle. They our the best people I know and it's amazing to see them in love and then happy. I want that feeling one day but my anxiety, most of the time, doesn't. Even if I was to find the most perfect woman tomorrow or even someday, and even if she fell in love with me, my anxiety makes me think that she will always deserve better, and I'll probably end up pushing her away. I have had flings with girls but nothing too serious. I guess it's because of my anxiety that kicks in, acts out and thinks she deserves better. I will probably die alone. The sad truth is that it's this mindset that will drive me mad. The love and family that I see in my sisters' beautiful future will probably lead to me going insane in my late 20s and early 30s it will be too much. Broken as a teenager, realisation of depression in my 20s, and probably too insane by my 30s to live.