I have a good life, a happy family. Still, i feel unable to do anything about my professional life. I do not have the power to lift up my butt and do what I must. Instead I let everything slowly wilt away, slowly backing myself into a corner where I know the only escape is suicide. I will not do it though. But i will lose my family, friends and will end up on the streets, or perhaps in a flat, on welfare alone and alive but lifeless. I have given up.