When I was 16 I was in a relationship for 3 years, and had one accidental pregnancy, I got really sick, went for an abortion and never quite got over the sense of loss of a life so intertwined with mine. The relationship broke off, as I got more and more depressed. Every other date was a fail, finally I found one person I love so deeply, and it's been a year, but he expressed that marriage and kids may not be a thing for him. I'm suffering from a medical condition where a lot of things mess up your body slowly, along with reproductive organs, so I may never have a kid or a husband who would still love me if I'm dying or suffering too early on. I love him so much, I can't let it end. But I also feel miserable.