I really worry about you kids so I'd like to pass on my old man advice. Don't kill yourself. Teenage years are the WORST years of your life. Anyone who says they are the best failed at life. I used to cut and try to kill myself too. Now I just wish I had more days to come home to my suburban home and get a kiss from my loving wife and hugs from my awesome kids. The decisions you make now will last a lifetime so be careful and pursue dreams, study hard, take the risks that have the greatest rewards, and for the love of the gene pool don't procreate with the wrong people. Whatever you need to know you can probably google it. Just don't give up. It's not over till you are DEAD! A lot of people are like Job the patriarch. The last half of his life was better than the first.