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I had sex once in my life so far . I Got rid of the virgin stigma and it felt good for 1-2 days ( probably due to the hormons produced ) . However as time goes by I really feel that I dont truly want to be in a relationship , have sex or show what a great dominant male I am and all this that the 2015 society wants from a 20 year old guy . Okay I like cuddling but with really close and familiar persons ( being my mother , father , grandma , grandpa and brother ) .I think about sex sometimes but it stops when I ... handle it by myself and I really dont feel and intimate/spiritual connection to a girl since the main criteria for me are " how beatiful is she considered to be ? " or " how much respect will I win from the other males ? " . All this thoughts led to questions like " Am I gay ?" (No , since other male bodies disgust me in terms of physical contact with them ) or " Am I shallow and a materialistic idiot of the this capitalistic era since the appearence of things matters so much to me ? " ( No idea about this one but I was considered by teachers and professors at school as " extremely capable of things " and to be honest I never studied hard but still had decent grades and managed to be accepted into the dental Uni in my country - which is considered a cool feat -) All in all I believe that if I try to give energy and time to having sex and getting a girl/guy , it will be something pretentious from my side and a big waste of time and energy . Seems that all I want is to become a decent dentist so I can earn some money and meanwhile keep playing and writing music and becoming even better at it and maybe who knows ... maybe I get to be famous one day . P.S. I never was one of the cool popular kids at school but I had/have both female and male friends if that affects your view one me people .

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