I've had multiple affairs and stopped them YEARS ago. I want to live right and make better decisions in life because I have a family and want to go to heaven when I die. Of the 6 men I've fucked, I can't let go of the last one. Compared to my husband -he's smaller (physically and penis size) but our sex was the best I've ever had. I crave his touch and cum just thinking about him when I'm alone. It's been years since we've seen one another -but I can't shake him. He clearly feels the same way because he still emails despite my not responding. He knows I still read them. Why is this happening?