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For my entire life, I have felt completely misunderstood.. always. I have like the biggest heart of anyone I know and somehow I always end up looking like the jerk. It's like the harder I try to do the right thing or make someone else happy, the worse I look. I just don't get it. I've made mistakes like anyone else, but feel like I'll be paying for mine the rest of my life. Others who have made worse mistakes or just aren't good people get to move on and be happy, but not me... I have the worst luck of anyone I know. It's not fair. I believe in karma, but... when do I get to be happy or be rewarded for being smart, caring, fun, loving and respectful?? Why does MY life have to be so hard? I don't understand. I'm always broke, always in pain, always working hard, always misread, etc. I see people who are assholes, lazy, abusive, addicts, ugly or ignorant and they have all the things I feel like I deserve. I know envy is an evil feeling and I'm grateful for what & who I have, but seriously... it's f***** up. I'm 42 & a mom. I don't want to die feeling this way... and yet something tells me I will.

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  • I am sorry you feel that way. May be it's your prospective of thing that you need to change? I know it's just pointless of me offering pundit advice over an anonymous confession site. but may be you should find someone whom can pour your heart out without being judged. it's pretty wrong for me to suggest this and you might get offended., but can I suggest you to may be read up and get a little familiar with 'Buddhism'?? Try Googling for Ajhan brahmsavo. His book 'a pile of dung' helped me a lot to over come sad and depressed thoughts sometime ago. just a suggestion only., no need to hate if you refuse to do so. Hope everything be OK with you.

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