I fall sleep and wake up with the same thing every day. Realizing the painful truth. Every passing day it hurts more and more,that what I want will never happen,what I work for will never be paid off. Every passing day it is harder to keep on my mask,sometimes I would just sit down in the corner crying with all the people around. I hate myself.I just want to be normal,having everyday problems,no this,this feeling that I know what my chances are,and I should leave at it. But my logical thinking just leaves me,it just surrendered to the goal that I will never reach. I don't even know what to do,I wish I could just end the suffering somehow.