I hate myself for liking someone else by 'accident' while I'm still in a relationship. Now, I hate that guy a lot. I blocked him in any social medias. I had a fight with my boyfriend because I spilled it out a day after I was trying to sort out my feelings towards that guy. I was unsure myself. My boyfriend was disappointed (I know, he should). He forgave me. I started to forget about it, avoiding any contacts with other boys except his friends. Whenever we had a fight, he would always remind me about the bad past about my 'accidental feelings'. It was too painful to remember, but he made me want to remember. I tried everything to make him forgot. I even gave myself to him. He still treats me lovely and nicely, but when we argue.... It was never the same as before. I am so scared of losing him. He's very clingy and cute, also have the father-like traits. I don't want to. I don't know what should I do to make forget about that and just live on to the present. I, myself is also a bad person. Whenever he talked about somethong he does related to his ex-girlfriend, I got annoyed and mimicked it in a very demeaning tone. It's just that...He's my first lover. My first experience. I had 6 exes (probably you think I'm a slut). The reason I got them was because all of them were playboys. All of them aiming for a random innocent girls to play with. Gladly, I was untouched by them. My boyfriend was the first man to ever lay his hands on me, hug me and made me feel special. I was a fool for accidentally fall for someone. But I was still unsure. I was sorting out my feelings. Yes, I did told my boyfriend that but he doesn't want to listen.... He was too hurt. I am a bad person, aren't I?