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Is it normal to have an insane obsession with death? Like most people i've become desensitized to a lot of horrible things. Endless browsing on gore sites, torture porn etc. Eventually after so long, you only see them as an individual being, weak, not capable of much and just an assortment of parts thrown together to make function (i think of robots when it comes to this.) i use to somewhat believe in god but then got open minded. But after so many viewings and a first hand experience seeing another die, it makes you think a lot. So much to the point where you don't believe in anything and you wish you could but you're stuck knowing that only now matters and as a human being you are vulnerable to anything and there is an end date to everything. Everyone knows they're gonna die one day, but when you frequently see how many people die everyday, and the sheer amount of pain and an inevitable void that (i personally believe) comes after death, you begin to ponder why you must go on. I'm not suicidal or anything but i'm always left with my thoughts, and every single day is torment.. I've tried to get help with it to stop it, medications, numerous appointments and online research. Every second of everyday i'm thinking when i will enter that void and how i will go out. I apply it to everything and it drives me insane sometimes and keeps me up at nights because my mind is racing. All of this makes you begin to not care about other people.. You're seeing them as just.. There. Meat sacks. Im too far gone to get any help and im not looking for it. I was just curious if this was a normal thing amongst everyone.

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