I'm a hopeless romantic. It's sad, because I'd like to be a father one day.. I'd like to hold my child in my arms and reflect back on my life, knowing everything I've endured will be worth it for what I can teach this child. I'd like to hold my love closely at night, and be the best I can be for her. I would love to create a family so much better than the one I was raised in.. I wouldn't hit my kid, would never put him down. I went through life depressed, and borderline suicidal. I would do everything I can to support my child. Alas I'm a hope romantic, and my friends make up a more meaningful family then my own. I love my friends dearly, and it's easy to be around them because I trust them with my life. They kept me alive over the years, but in a relationship I become a perfectionist with a low self esteem, and I start to hate myself feeling like the person I'm with is a thousand times better than me. I understand I am broken in many regards, I just hope one day someone will hold me, and remind me things can get better.