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I am 20 years old and feel like i wasted my life trying to make it perfect, waiting for the perfect moments, choosing the right friends and cutting the ones i thought weren't good enough out, waiting for the perfect girl, trying to make everything perfect... but i have realized that i ended up without any real friends, the girl i loved i have removed from my life because of fear of being hurt again, most people hate and don't understand me, and i can't blame them because i don't understand myself either , I've been trough shit and lost all control of my life (if i ever had it) I often daydream about going away leaving it all behind and start from scrach but don't know how i would manage it, i lately play with the thought of killing myself but i value life to much to do that... I'm stuck and don't know how to fix all this, how to get real friends, how to ever trust someone, how to allow myself to love again... I think i'm down on my knees at my lowest point and i dont know how to stand up, i have nobody to talk to, because i don't trust anyone. so i'm here begging for advice.

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  • See a therapist, he/she can help you with your trust issues and you can open yourself without having the fear of getting hurt. Of course you'll have to work on your own, but it seems to that you really want to change, but just don't know how to do it and it's a start ;)

  • Keep up surviving, your family needs you, everythings gonna be allright

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