I m a 20year old girl, I ve been 'flooting' the past 3years deciding what course should I go in college. I ve made a decision, for now. I ve in a 2 year relationship with a guy who is 50 years old. When I met him he only logo like 35, and he lied to me about is age... Well, thing evolved.... He want as kids because he s getting old, but, and I think I Am not beeing selfish, I dont want kids with someone I just meet, I am no even out my parents out yet, I can't support myself, and I don't want to me dependent of him. He a little crazy, he s bossed é with work. I think I am going to break up with him, but I don't want to hurt him.. But he doesn't make me happy anymore. I think he doesn't find me attractive, (and a normal girl). He blames for a lot of things and I am getting tired of him. I love him, respect him, mas I don't want that for the rest of my life. But I don't know why, I have trouble in breaking up with him... I m afraid of the confrontation, he screams a lot and I don't like it. I don't know how I end up in this situation. My parents don't know I have a boyfriend (a very old boyfriend...). I did a lot of bad decision since I was young... I always feel guilty, because he always says it's my fault even when it's not. He s manipulative... And that makes me started to hate him sometimes. But then I only feel love for him... Vicious cycle and I need to get out! Ao no I'm insecure and I think if find myself alone I will not know what to do with myself.