Um. ..this has me bothering me for some time. I've had sex before with one guy and since then I've always had a fear or fingering and penetration . penetration because it hurts so much no matter what and my body is scared for it so I was almost never relaxed and was hard to get relaxed for sex.id have to kiss my bf alot and make plenty eye contact. but in all honestly fingering freaks me out and I'm not really sure why....I always asked my ex not to ans he didn't. it also hurt alot too...it's painful with only 1 finger when I'm extremely wet.i just wanna have sex for once and enjoy it....and yes I have tried lube...it's always hard to get in and it hurts so much.